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We are Minotaurs.
Resistance is futile.
You will be counted.
We like abacus and ice cream.
We want to be accountants.

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Trip of the Hand

最近、ちょっと更新が滞ってます。

Long ago, there was a hand. He lived in a mountain.

Oneday, the hand went on a trip.

The Hand went to the sea.

The Hand jumped in. He swam under the sea. Fishes were watching him.

The Hand met a Sea Goddess. She said, "You've lost it, isn't it?"

She continued, "Which one you've lost? Fried chicken? Nice Car? Your other parts of human body?"

"Fried chicken!" The Hand answered. He took it from the Sea Goddess' hand and ate it.

Then he continued his trip.

The End
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テーマ : 英語 - ジャンル : 学問・文化・芸術

The cat and a shining mountain

There was a cat living near the mountain. Oneday, he saw the mountain shining red.

The cat went up to the mountain. He wanted to find out what was happening there. At there, he saw something!

20100612_103604.jpg

At the top of the mountain, there was a red shining flying saucer! It said, "Greeting! Earth people."

"Miaow," the cat replied. The UFO took out its huge hand from the saucer and shook the cat's hand.

20100612_104151.jpg

They became friends, and ate Ramen at a noodle stand. They ate much and they were happy.

20100612_105003.jpg

テーマ : 英語 - ジャンル : 学問・文化・芸術

Fighter Jet Girl

 "All the defense forces are gone. Now the whole world is mine!" Eric the Extra Evil declared at the devastated city.
 "Not so fast!" someone on top of the building replied. It was a humanoid girl.
 "Who the heck are you!?" "I have no name to tell a villain like you!" said the girl jumping from there. She was falling! "Huh! Just a crazy girl!" "TRANSFORM!!" "What the!?" "The girl became a Fighter Jet!"  "What's happening here!?" said the Lesser Drones.
 "Don't be afraid! That Fighter Jet is small and puny. We are big and strong! Destroy her now! Drones!" Eric the Extra Evil commanded.

 "Dee-te-hee! With pleasure!" Drones attacked with their beam ax!
 "Homing! ... Laser!" cried the Fighter Jet Girl. Hundreds of laser beam spread from her wings and destroyed the body armor and live body circuits of all the Drones.

 "Arrrrrrr!" Drones exploded.
 "You're quite a girl, aren't you, human? But I'm stronger!" Eric the Extra Evil took out an extra-large 30m size beam ax from his back pack. She was attacked! 90-story skyscraper was cut down half.
 "Thruster burst, engage!" Fighter Jet Girl evaded! She used Homing Laser again, though Eric the Extra Evil reflected all her laser.

 "Laser is no use! I've got a special armor. Tsk-tsk-tsk! Can you evade all of attacks!? My beam ax is very hot!!!" Soon she was cornered.
 "Drill Attack!" Fighter Jet Girl rammed through Eric the Extra Evil with her head drill, "Thruster Full Burst, engage!!" and penetrated through his belly, then transformed into a humanoid style again.
 "Gueeaaaaargh! Damn, but you'll see him. ... He will come..., and kill you! ..." Eric the Extra Evil's live body circuits started collapsing. He was spitting black oil from his mouth, and panting heavily, try to get oxygen into his main reactor.

 "Heil Evil Lord!" Eric the Extra Evil exploded into pieces.
Fights of the Fighter Jet Girl continues.
 

The Death Girl and a woman

My husband was on a business trip when this incident happened.

A strange girl appeared from nowhere when I was in my apartment.
"Who are you!? Where did you come in?"
"Follow me," she just said and took my hand.
The strange girl took me to a very strange place. "Where am I?"
"You will see, but that's not very important."
It was a white land. Everything seemed white. "There is nothing here!" I cried.
"Well, that's not exactly true. Look at that." she pointed at something.

It seemed like a small baby. It wore pink baby clothes. It must be a girl!
It started speaking as if she were a child of 5 or 6 years old.
"I want to go home. ... It's cold here. Very, very cold. ... Don't leave me. I'm starving. I need to be hugged. I'm hungry! ... It's dark. Why is it so dark? ... "

I was scared. I don't know why. Probably it was her eyes. The baby was not smiling. She seemed freaked out with something.
Suddenly, the baby looked at me. She grinned and said, "Saeko!"
I was afraid. Why she knew my name!? And her voice sounded familiar!
The baby continued speaking, "Your body is very warm. I feel it. I'm a cute little baby. Why don't you give me a hug? I want to feel your warm flesh. I need to eat your life energy."

Oh, No! My legs! My body! I didn't want to go near her but I somehow gravitated to the baby.
When I touched the baby with my hands, I felt as if I touched something, it was, ... it was something very black and cold.
It was a severe pain! My hands started collapsing with extreme cold. I was screaming with pain.

My agony suddenly stopped. I opened my eyes and looked at my hands timidly. Thank God they were still there! The strange girl was standing in front of me. She was holding a scary looking long sword! No, it was not a sword. It was a Death Scythe.
"Are, ... are you Death?" I asked.
"Well, that's not important right now," she answered.

"Did you kill the baby?" I asked another question.
"No, I just chased her away for a while. She will be back soon. You have to deal with her again."
"What!? I'm scared! She tried to kill me!"
"No, she wanted to get warmer. That's all," the Death girl explained calmly.
I was not satisfied with her answer. "Why do I have to deal with that monster baby?"
"Because she relates to you." Then the Death girl looked somewhere.
"She is back! Saeko, you should prepare, now! I can not help you this time." After saying this, the Death girl disappeared.

The baby reappeared.
"Saeko, you are still there! I need your help. I'm so cold! I always need your help! You must obey me."
The baby's voice sounded familiar again. The Death girl was right. The baby relates to me. I sure heard that voice when I was a child. Only it was not a baby. It was a voice of my grand-mother.

When I noticed that, the baby suddenly 'grew up' to an old lady. She was huge. I looked up at her, afraid. She scolded and hit me as if I were a small child again. No, I was not a grown-up adult woman, but a small child now! It was a familiar fear and pain. I started shivering.
"She looked huge because I am a small child now!" I thought, remembering desperation and coldness I felt, when she was angry at me.

I was cold. My body was so cold now. At that time, I also felt my anger.
"Why are you always angry at me!? Why you hit me!? I am not your doll! I am a woman. A human being!"
My grand-mother winced. I hit her with my arm! "No-----!" she screamed.
I was in a rage. I hit her and hit her and hit her! "Help----!" she screamed again with tears in her eyes.

I was in tears, too. I felt cold, too. Someone stopped me. It was the Death girl. "Look at the ground where she is standing," she asked calmly.
I looked at the ground. I was surprised! I answered, "It's so ... narrow."
"Exactly," the Death girl said. "Now, look at YOUR ground where you are standing."
I felt it deeply, "Mine is very narrow, too. What does this mean?"

"Your grand-mother died very long ago. The baby-old lady you saw, was not really her. It's your scar and memory with your grand-mother. In that sense, that 'image' was part of you. You are not a small child, but you are a mother now. Think about it deeply."
The Death girl showed me her huge Death Scythe again. "You know, I don't want to take a small child with me. ... If possible."

I was in my apartment. Was it a dream?
I was irritated and I was hitting my kid, again. He was scared of me, shivering. I looked at his ground where he was sitting. It felt so narrow. He always needed to shrink-up, afraid of me. I remembered what the Death girl said.

"Children need food. But that's not enough. They still starve if parents don't hug them. They feel coldness and lose hope of living, if they were not loved. ... But you and your child are alive. That means you still have chances. I envy you so much."

The Death girl smiled at me. It was a warm smile. She seemed like an ordinary small child who needs Mom and Dad. Then she disappeared.

 
時々、添削いただいた分を修正したりしています。
 

テーマ : 英語 - ジャンル : 学問・文化・芸術

The secret pyramid

A woman came into a secret pyramid. She had a Japanese radish in her backpack.
"!?" she felt something. "Who's there?"

"Eat me!" "No, eat ME!" "Don't eat him. Eat Me, me, me!" "Have mercy. Eat me!"
Grade-B Bread Monsters surprised her! But she ate them all and said, "They are no much for me!"

Twenty minutes later, She was in a large, stone burial chamber.
She opened her ritual kit, burned incense, and cried loud, "Captain Gourmet! I salute you! I salute you! Please come here!"

Suddenly, the earth started shaking.
"You! Who dare woke me up from my long sleep!? State your name and occupation!"

"I'm a house wife. My name's Yuzu," the woman answered.
"Well, what do you want, human!? I will eat you if you do not have important business with me!"
"I'd like you to taste my best cuisine!" Yuzu declared with pointing her finger to Captain Gourmet.
Captain Gourmet grinned, "Interesting! Satisfy me! If you can!"

At that moment, someone appeared.
"Not so fast! Try my best food!" said Tagine Pot Jinni.
"Hold it! Don't underestimate my Snake Cuisine, too!" cried Lamia.

20100427231708A001.jpg

"Here comes the new challengers!" Captain Gourme stared three fighters smilingly, and continued, "Then it's agreed! This is an official food battle royal! Begin!"

Tagine Pot Jinni, Lamia, and Yuzu all started making dishes.

"Be hold! I'm the fastest cooker in the world!" Tagine Pot Jinni finished his cooking first.
"Good. Let me taste it," Captain Gourmet grabbed the dishes and ate them at once including the plates.
"Arrrrrrgh!" suddenly Captain Gourmet started screaming. His face was purple.
"What did you use for these dishes!?" Then he became sick ... and found out the ingredients with his eyes.
"...Bread Monsters. I don't like Bread Monsters! Tagine Pot Jinni, you failed to satisfy me. You lose!"

20100427231708A002.jpg

Then it was a tern for Lamia. "Try cold Vichyssoise soup with snakes!"
Captain Gourmet drank it at one gulp. "It's good!" he seemed satisfied.
"Wait. My tummy! It hurts a lot!" Then three snakes came out from Captain Gourmet's stomach area.
Snakes said, "Mummy!" and came to Lamia. "I missed you!" "Me, too!" "Me, three!"
She was upset and said to them in a small voice, "Shh! I told you to stay there for a while."
Captain Gourmet was really crossed with her. "Lamia! You lose!" Lamia grabbed all her children and ran away quickly.

Now, it's an one on one match with Captain Gourmet and Yuzu.
"Here's mine. It's a Daikon miso soup!" Yuzu cried!
In a huge Donburi bowl, a large Daikon with a green leaves was in the soup. It seems Yuzu was not a very good cook.

After Captain Gourmet drank the miso soup, he suddenly shouted, "It's, it's, ... it's Yummy-------!!!"
His mouth, and all his body was shining brightly! It was his advanced transformation!
Captain Gourmet was 'Admiral Gourmet' now!

"Good! You satisfied me," Admiral Gourmet said to Yuzu. "Do you have a wish? I can grant you one wish."
"I want to be a better cook!" Yuzu asked. There was no reply from Admiral Gourmet.
Yuzu looked at him. "Admiral Gourmet? Are you feeling Okay?"
"No, ... nooooooooo! I just love cuisines, but I'm not good at cooking or cooking related wishes! Goodbye Yuzu, have a nice day!" Admiral Gourmet ran away very fast beyond the horizon.

"What!?" Yuzu was angry now. "Then pay the price! Or I'll eat you!"
Yuzu chased after Admiral Gourmet and disappeared, too .

The secret pyramid was silent again.

20100427231708A003.jpg
 
時々、添削いただいた分を修正したりしています。
 

テーマ : 英語 - ジャンル : 学問・文化・芸術

Narrative of a Beast’s Life 無料のPodcastリンク/ストーリー紹介

GRの本、アミステッド(Amistad YL3.2 PGR3)を思い出すような話。(あまり似ていないかもしれないけど)
主人公のモンスターが、なんというか理知的。高い知性を感じさせるしゃべり方というか。いろいろとやりきれない気持ちになる話。突然捕まって奴隷にされた者の、みんながみんな、アミステッドほどにも幸運で劇的ではないんだろうと思わせられる。
(PG指定: マジカルクリーチャーを奴隷にする表現が含まれるため / 約50分)

PodCastle 87: Narrative of a Beast’s Life
http://podcastle.org/2010/01/19/podcastle-87-narrative-of-a-beasts-life/

※説明は私が聞き取った範囲での情報です。間違っていることもありえます。

リンク先の紹介文の下のスピーカーのアイコンとかMP3とあるあたりをクリックすると再生されます。古くなるとデータがなくなることもあるようです。

テーマ : 英語 - ジャンル : 学問・文化・芸術

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