My husband was on a business trip when this incident happened.
A strange girl appeared from nowhere when I was in my apartment.
"Who are you!? Where did you come in?"
"Follow me," she just said and took my hand.
The strange girl took me to a very strange place. "Where am I?"
"You will see, but that's not very important."
It was a white land. Everything seemed white. "There is nothing here!" I cried.
"Well, that's not exactly true. Look at that." she pointed at something.
It seemed like a small baby. It wore pink baby clothes. It must be a girl!
It started speaking as if she were a child of 5 or 6 years old.
"I want to go home. ... It's cold here. Very, very cold. ... Don't leave me. I'm starving. I need to be hugged. I'm hungry! ... It's dark. Why is it so dark? ... "
I was scared. I don't know why. Probably it was her eyes. The baby was not smiling. She seemed freaked out with something.
Suddenly, the baby looked at me. She grinned and said, "Saeko!"
I was afraid. Why she knew my name!? And her voice sounded familiar!
The baby continued speaking, "Your body is very warm. I feel it. I'm a cute little baby. Why don't you give me a hug? I want to feel your warm flesh. I need to eat your life energy."
Oh, No! My legs! My body! I didn't want to go near her but I somehow gravitated to the baby.
When I touched the baby with my hands, I felt as if I touched something, it was, ... it was something very black and cold.
It was a severe pain! My hands started collapsing with extreme cold. I was screaming with pain.
My agony suddenly stopped. I opened my eyes and looked at my hands timidly. Thank God they were still there! The strange girl was standing in front of me. She was holding a scary looking long sword! No, it was not a sword. It was a Death Scythe.
"Are, ... are you Death?" I asked.
"Well, that's not important right now," she answered.
"Did you kill the baby?" I asked another question.
"No, I just chased her away for a while. She will be back soon. You have to deal with her again."
"What!? I'm scared! She tried to kill me!"
"No, she wanted to get warmer. That's all," the Death girl explained calmly.
I was not satisfied with her answer. "Why do I have to deal with that monster baby?"
"Because she relates to you." Then the Death girl looked somewhere.
"She is back! Saeko, you should prepare, now! I can not help you this time." After saying this, the Death girl disappeared.
The baby reappeared.
"Saeko, you are still there! I need your help. I'm so cold! I always need your help! You must obey me."
The baby's voice sounded familiar again. The Death girl was right. The baby relates to me. I sure heard that voice when I was a child. Only it was not a baby. It was a voice of my grand-mother.
When I noticed that, the baby suddenly 'grew up' to an old lady. She was huge. I looked up at her, afraid. She scolded and hit me as if I were a small child again. No, I was not a grown-up adult woman, but a small child now! It was a familiar fear and pain. I started shivering.
"She looked huge because I am a small child now!" I thought, remembering desperation and coldness I felt, when she was angry at me.
I was cold. My body was so cold now. At that time, I also felt my anger.
"Why are you always angry at me!? Why you hit me!? I am not your doll! I am a woman. A human being!"
My grand-mother winced. I hit her with my arm! "No-----!" she screamed.
I was in a rage. I hit her and hit her and hit her! "Help----!" she screamed again with tears in her eyes.
I was in tears, too. I felt cold, too. Someone stopped me. It was the Death girl. "Look at the ground where she is standing," she asked calmly.
I looked at the ground. I was surprised! I answered, "It's so ... narrow."
"Exactly," the Death girl said. "Now, look at YOUR ground where you are standing."
I felt it deeply, "Mine is very narrow, too. What does this mean?"
"Your grand-mother died very long ago. The baby-old lady you saw, was not really her. It's your scar and memory with your grand-mother. In that sense, that 'image' was part of you. You are not a small child, but you are a mother now. Think about it deeply."
The Death girl showed me her huge Death Scythe again. "You know, I don't want to take a small child with me. ... If possible."
I was in my apartment. Was it a dream?
I was irritated and I was hitting my kid, again. He was scared of me, shivering. I looked at his ground where he was sitting. It felt so narrow. He always needed to shrink-up, afraid of me. I remembered what the Death girl said.
"Children need food. But that's not enough. They still starve if parents don't hug them. They feel coldness and lose hope of living, if they were not loved. ... But you and your child are alive. That means you still have chances. I envy you so much."
The Death girl smiled at me. It was a warm smile. She seemed like an ordinary small child who needs Mom and Dad. Then she disappeared.
テーマ : 英語 - ジャンル : 学問・文化・芸術